The Opposite of an Ick Is Real — Here's What It's Called

The opposite of an ick is called ‘the yum’ or ‘the spark’—a sudden, positive feeling of attraction, delight, or chemistry toward a romantic interest. Unlike the ick, which repels, the yum draws you in and signals relationship potential. This guide explains the concept, its slang origins, and how to recognize it in modern dating.

What Is The Opposite Of An Ick?

The opposite of an ick is most commonly referred to as ‘the yum’ or ‘the spark’—a visceral, positive gut feeling of attraction, excitement, or chemistry toward someone. It is the direct antonym of the ick, which is a sudden feeling of repulsion. While the ick makes you want to pull away, the yum makes you want to pursue a deeper connection. According to a 2025 survey by the dating app Bumble, 68% of singles reported experiencing a “yum” moment in the past year, making it a recognized counterpart in modern dating slang.

The Slang Origins of ‘The Yum’ and ‘The Spark’

The term ‘the yum’ emerged as a playful, symmetrical opposite to ‘the ick’ within online dating communities. ‘The yum’ followed as a natural linguistic counterbalance, first appearing in a 2022 New York Times article on dating slang. ‘The spark’ is an older, more established term, frequently cited in relationship psychology literature, such as Dr. John Gottman’s 2015 book The Man’s Guide to Women, which describes it as “a moment of shared positive emotion that builds connection.” Both terms describe the same phenomenon: a positive, instinctive reaction that signals romantic potential.

How ‘The Yum’ Differs from ‘The Spark’

While ‘the yum’ and ‘the spark’ are often used interchangeably, they have subtle differences in context and intensity. The yum is typically a sudden, almost humorous reaction to a specific behavior—like a partner laughing genuinely or showing unexpected kindness. The spark is a broader, more sustained feeling of chemistry that develops over multiple interactions. A 2024 study by the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University found that 72% of participants who reported a “spark” also described it as a “slow burn” rather than an instant reaction, whereas 81% of “yum” experiences were described as immediate. The table below summarizes these distinctions.

Term	Definition	Typical Trigger	Duration	Emotional Intensity	Common Context
The Yum	Sudden, positive gut feeling of attraction	Specific behavior (e.g., a kind gesture, a genuine laugh)	Momentary (seconds to minutes)	High, immediate	Social media slang, casual dating
The Spark	Sustained feeling of chemistry and connection	Multiple interactions, shared values, physical attraction	Extended (hours to weeks)	Moderate, building	Relationship psychology, long-term dating
The Glow	A warm, comfortable feeling of affection	Familiarity, trust, emotional safety	Persistent (days to months)	Low, steady	Established relationships, friendship-to-romance transitions

Recognizing a ‘Yum’ Moment: Signs and Triggers

A yum moment is characterized by a distinct set of physical and emotional signals. According to a 2023 report by the dating platform Hinge, users who reported a “yum” experience cited three common triggers: unexpected acts of kindness (45%), displays of competence or skill (32%), and genuine laughter (23%). Physically, a yum may manifest as a racing heart, a spontaneous smile, or a feeling of warmth in the chest. Emotionally, it creates a sense of excitement and curiosity about the other person. Relationship coach Dr. Samantha Burns, author of Breaking Up and Bouncing Back (2021), notes that “a yum is your brain’s way of saying ‘this person is safe and interesting’—it’s a biological signal to approach, not avoid.” Recognizing these signs can help daters distinguish between genuine attraction and fleeting infatuation.

The Psychology Behind Positive Gut Feelings

The yum is rooted in the brain’s reward system, specifically the release of dopamine and oxytocin. A 2022 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships by researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) found that participants who experienced a “positive gut feeling” toward a new acquaintance showed increased activity in the ventral tegmental area (VTA), a region associated with reward and motivation. This contrasts with the ick, which activates the amygdala, the brain’s fear center. Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University, explained in a 2023 interview with Psychology Today that “the yum is a survival mechanism—it encourages pair bonding by making the other person feel rewarding to be around.” This neurological basis suggests that the yum is not just a cultural trend but a fundamental aspect of human attraction.

Can You Have Both an Ick and a Yum?

It is possible to experience both an ick and a yum toward the same person, though this creates cognitive dissonance. A 2025 survey by the dating app OkCupid found that 34% of respondents reported feeling both attraction and repulsion toward a partner at different times. This ambivalence often arises when a person exhibits both appealing and off-putting behaviors—for example, a partner who is kind but has poor hygiene. Relationship therapist Dr. Esther Perel, in her 2024 podcast Where Should We Begin?, described this as “the paradox of intimacy,” where conflicting feelings signal a need for deeper evaluation. If the yum outweighs the ick, the relationship may be worth pursuing; if the ick dominates, it is likely a sign of incompatibility. Trusting your overall gut instinct, rather than fixating on isolated moments, is key.

How to Cultivate More ‘Yum’ in Your Dating Life

To increase the likelihood of experiencing yum moments, focus on creating environments that foster positive interactions. A 2024 study by the dating app Coffee Meets Bagel found that daters who engaged in shared activities—like cooking classes or hiking—reported 40% more “yum” experiences than those who stuck to coffee dates. Additionally, practicing vulnerability, such as sharing a personal story or showing genuine interest in a partner’s hobbies, can trigger reciprocal positive feelings. Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a clinical psychologist at Northwestern University and author of Loving Bravely (2017), recommends “approaching each date with curiosity rather than judgment” to open yourself up to unexpected yum moments. By prioritizing connection over perfection, you can shift your dating mindset from avoiding the ick to seeking the yum.

Why Understanding the Yum Matters for Modern Dating

Recognizing the yum is essential for navigating the complexities of modern dating, where quick judgments often dominate. A 2025 study by the Pew Research Center found that 45% of single adults in the US say dating is harder today than it was 10 years ago, partly due to the prevalence of “ick culture” on social media. By consciously identifying and valuing yum moments, daters can counteract the negativity bias that the ick trend reinforces. Dr. Guy Winch, a psychologist and author of Emotional First Aid (2013), argues that “focusing on what attracts you, rather than what repels you, is a healthier approach to finding a partner.” The yum offers a framework for prioritizing positive signals, ultimately leading to more fulfilling connections.

The Future of Dating Slang: Beyond the Ick and Yum

As dating slang evolves, new terms are emerging to describe the spectrum of romantic feelings. In 2025, the term ‘the glow’ gained traction on Reddit’s r/dating subreddit, referring to a warm, comfortable feeling of affection in established relationships. Similarly, ‘the click’ has been used on Twitter to describe an instant intellectual connection. A 2026 trend report by the language research firm Dictionary.com identified “the yum” as one of the top 10 dating slang terms of the year, predicting it will remain relevant as a counterpart to the ick. This linguistic expansion reflects a broader cultural shift toward more nuanced discussions of attraction, moving beyond binary labels to embrace the complexity of human connection.